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Looking at Kate and trying to see if she is thinking same kind of thoughts as me, but I fail to figure her out. I curse myself, my over-analyzing style and sensitivity to what other people might be thinking. A more bold person would just go in the moment, taking what life offers, without thinking so much, without trying to understand everything and making decisions.She looks at me and I look into her light gray eyes and I think I see interest and possibly desire there. Or maybe it is just potential desire. Like when you are hiking and happen to a log cabin, and go out back to check the stack of wood piled against to the back wall, you don't know if the wood is dry and if it catches fire instantly and leaps into flames. You have to touch it and feel it and try it to know if the flames are there just waiting to be unleashed. Or, the wood could be new and fresh and it will not light. I don't know Kate so well yet, and she doesn't know me, but all the signals are there that the wood is. Both of us sat on the bed resting our backs on the headboard. But mama straddled me as soon as I sat. I tried to kiss her, but she stopped me. "Ben, wait. Listen to me first. This is the most important conversation in my life so far." I'm sorry mama. What's it so much important?" Ben, I want you to know that I trust you so much. In fact, I've never trusted anyone more than you. That's why I let you kiss me and touch me. I was never going to trust any man. But you changed me and now I know you are the only man I can trust. You were the one to pull me out of the shell and show me that there's a man out there for me. I thought about everything you told me and finally I took my decision," She said and took a deep breath."I never thought that I'd be telling these words to any man. But now I'm going to and I'm so glad that man is my son. Ben, I want you to make love to me tonight," Mama said and looked at me nervously.Jesus Christ, did I hear that right. My mama just told me that she wanted.
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